Today I was looking at all of my favorite blogs and saw my younger sister Molly's post about "adoption etiquette" that she posted. She relays some great information that we all need to be aware of...what not to say, and what to say...and how to re-shape our mind and thoughts regarding adoption.
Please take a moment to read what she wrote...it's great stuff and serves as a constant reminder of us as what to say to families that choose to adopt. http://www.shockleyfamily.blogspot.com
Years before they adopted Owen, both Molly & Blake had a heart towards adoption...even in high school, they would talk about wanting to adopt and share their dreams with us of what they believed their family would look like.
So in the meantime, I have had some good coaching and conversations with Molly about what to say, etc. But, even me being well intentioned, I'm sure I have said something to a family that made them cringe inside. Which brings me to why I decided to post about the same thing as Molly.
I wanted to pass along one additional nugget that Molly touched on in her post.....we MUST respect and honor birthparents. Molly & Blake taught us this from day one....they taught us that it doesn't matter the circumstances behind the adoption, it doesn't matter who did what, why it is happening, etc....the point to focus on is this: this loving birthparent decided to make the ULTIMATE sacrifice and give their child something they could not offer. This part can be the hardest for most people...they cast judgement upon the birthparent...and the real deal is, it's not for us to judge.
Have you ever stopped and thought about how absolutely hard it would be to let someone else parent your child? Have you ever stopped to think about how these mothers go into the hospital knowing they will walk out empty handed? Have you thought that they leave the hospital in pain, and their milk will come in...without a baby to nurse? Have you thought that they must stay awake endless nights thinking and praying for their child?
I have...and it hurts.
So, the point of all of this is to say...why don't we collectively make it a priority to help change the image of birthparents and the judgement that is often cast upon them? Why don't we view them as heroes? Because they are...they should be treated as such. Because the other option would have been to parent the child...even though they knew that they couldn't provide (for whatever reason, it doesn't matter).
We have been blessed to personally know Owen and Cooper's birthmom. I will forever love her! I hope to see her again someday. But, if I don't for some time, she is a hero to me....she has given the ultimate sacrifice...and I know it hurt her to the core. My, how she loves these boys....and we love her.
Thanks Molly for reminding us.....love you sister!
Wohnzimmertisch Als Truhe
5 years ago
4 comments:
WOW! You made me cry! Laura, thank you for capturing so much of what Christ taught us all. You got it sister! I could not be more proud of you and I love you because in how much you love our bmoms, you love our children more in that. Did that make sense? When you love and respect their bmoms you show them so much love and acceptance. Could not have been better stated!
Amen....I couldn't agree with you more...I did want to add that people need to consider one thing....they had two other options...one was to parent a child they were not ready to parent and the other was abortion. And yet, they chose to give life and then make the sacrifice of adoption....These women are HEROS...my sister is right. Beck
I read Molly's post. It was excellent, as is yours.
AMAZING!!! Laura, well put! Molly, you have shown us how to love unconditionally. You have given love without condition, and that is hard...yet, it just comes right out of you. And, on top of that, you graciously ask all of those around you to do the same - may I be more like you! Thank you, sisters, for your amazing example...
Post a Comment