Being a mom

This week Max and I have had some great talks...and I was overcome with emotions just listening and talking to my son. We have this Bible, it's actually a boy's devotional Bible (they have them for girls too). Anyway the front of the Bible has stories that the mom reads to her son and the back of the Bible has stories that the dad reads to his son. It's really neat. So, you read the story, then there is a summary that reminds the boy how he can grow up to be a man of God and the last part is where the mom (or dad) relates the story to his/her life. It gives you things to talk to your child about and it is so amazing.

So on Tuesday at Max's nap time, we sat down and the story was about the book of Revelation and how God told John about what Heaven would be like. At the end, the mom and her son were supposed to talk about Heaven, anyone they knew that had died and gone to heaven, etc. Well, that just opened the flood gates........I could just see his mind working...I told Max about my grandpa Paco (my mom's dad) that he had never met who would be there, about my grandma JoJo (my dad's mom) and about our friend Lauren from church...and our dog Gus. (Yes, I'm not sure if animals go to heaven...but for his purposes I told him they did). Anyway, it was amazing to watch his little mind work. I told him that you can only go to heaven if you ask Jesus into your heart. He immediately said, "Mom, I have asked Jesus and every time I ask him, He says YES!" My heart just melted. Oh, I'm not sure he gets it all...but he is getting it...little by little God's love, plan and purpose is being revealed to my son, right before my eyes.

So we continued our talk, and he suddenly got sad thinking about his dog Gus. He wanted to know all of the details again...How did it happen? Where is he now? He even told me that if he knew Gus wasn't feeling bad that he would have put an ice pack on him to make him feel better. (Oh, the sweet heart of a child). The questions went on and on....Does Gus still have paws? Where did we find him dead? Then he broke out bawling. There I sat, my heart just breaking in front of him. We cried together and when I laid him down, I was so thankful for our talk....for those special times we get to share. I wanted to write it down so that I will always remember him...and never forget our sweet talks.

The next morning, he came downstairs with his Bible and a ceramic cross. He had bookmarked the story of Jesus dying on the cross. He asked if we could watch "Jesus of Nazareth" and read his Bible (at the same time). I wish you could have seen it...he sat on the couch, the Bible in his lap with his ceramic cross close by. He pointed to the Bible story and said, "Look at Mary, she looks mad." I told him that she wasn't mad, but that she was sad because her son was dying. Then my four year old said to me, "But mom, she shouldn't be sad, she should be happy because Jesus will rise from the dead." I told him he was right, but that Mary didn't know that yet. So, there we sat watching the movie and me ready to read as the story and the Bible came to the same point in time. (Yes it was interesting and definitely overstimulating!)

This mother's day, I am so blessed to be a mom. Yep, it's the hardest job I have ever had....but when I am having a hard time and feeling like I could be more patient, more loving, etc I remind myself of what an incredible blessing it all is. The other day we were in the car...Sutton was having an unusual bad day (actually he was very overtired) and he decided to scream in the car from Stroud to Tulsa. After about 30 minutes I thought I was going to go crazy. Just when I thought I was going nuts, Max said to me, "Mom, you're a really good mommy". It came from nowhere and I KNEW God had intervened for me! So, when I have bad days, I just remind myself that these little men will not be with me forever...they will grow up and to cherish every day we have.

Happy (early) Mother's Day to all of the mommies I know!